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2.06 MB
Extraction Summary
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People
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Organizations
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Locations
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Events
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Relationships
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Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Blog post / web article (exhibited document)
File Size:
2.06 MB
Summary
This document is a printout of a 2011 blog post by Clarisse Thorn titled "Towards My Personal Sex-Positive Feminist 101," which argues for the critical importance of direct, explicit communication in all sexual relationships, including BDSM. The author uses personal anecdotes to counter the fantasy of purely intuitive sexual connections and asserts that open dialogue is necessary for consent and mutual satisfaction. The footer 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018479' indicates this article was collected as an exhibit for a governmental investigation, though its specific relevance to the Epstein case is not mentioned within the text itself.
People (1)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Clarisse Thorn | Author |
Author of the blog post, identified via the URL clarissethorn.com.
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Organizations (1)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| HOUSE_OVERSIGHT |
Appears as a footer/Bates number on the document, likely referring to the U.S. House Committee on Oversight and Refor...
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Timeline (1 events)
2011-03-11
Publication of a blog post about the importance of communication in sexual encounters, particularly in BDSM.
clarissethorn.com
Locations (2)
| Location | Context |
|---|---|
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The document is a blog post published on the Internet.
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The website where the blog post was originally published.
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Relationships (1)
The author describes a past sexual experience with 'that particular guy' to illustrate her points about communication.
Key Quotes (3)
"All my most extraordinary sexual connections have benefited from everyone involved taking ownership of their desire, and talking about it directly at least a little bit."Source
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Quote #1
"The fantasy of a sexual relationship that is totally instinctive and perfect without any effort is just that -- a fantasy."Source
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Quote #2
"Learning how to talk about sex more directly and exactly might be hard or embarrassing or complicated, but it is seriously worth it. Not just BDSM; all sex."Source
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Quote #3
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (2,709 characters)
ought to be seen as standard. Especially because, paradoxically, this kind of instinctive connection will sometimes throw me off guard, make me unlikely to communicate when I probably ought to, because if he can read me that well -- it's so tempting to assume that "he just knows" everything. But of course he doesn't. I later had a couple rough moments with that particular guy, where I didn't tell him about boundaries that were actually pretty important, because I thought he could just tell -- and of course he couldn't always "just tell." Sometimes he could, but sometimes he couldn't.)
The overall moral of the story is this. Even with him, even with this guy, who totally blindsided me with his ability to read me despite the fact that he barely knew me: even with him, I had to be able to talk directly about what I wanted. Our connection was established because I was able to say, "Okay, that bite was a tad gentle, here's how I really like it, and here's what not to do with your teeth on me." All my most extraordinary sexual connections have benefited from everyone involved taking ownership of their desire, and talking about it directly at least a little bit.
I occasionally come across people who ask me how they can get their partners to do BDSM without talking about it directly. While I appreciate and sympathize with both their need to do BDSM, and their anxiety about talking about it -- I just can't get behind the premise of the question. The fantasy of a sexual relationship that is totally instinctive and perfect without any effort is just that -- a fantasy. And moreover, while you might be able to get some BDSM experiences without actually having a conversation about BDSM, direct sexual communication is not a threat to your sexual experiences -- it can improve them.
Do what you want, really, as long as it's consensual. If you want to have sex that's not communicative, that is your prerogative, as long as it's always consensual. (It's worth asking, though... are you so sure you can tell that it's consensual, if you don't talk about it?) Still. Learning how to talk about sex more directly and exactly might be hard or embarrassing or complicated, but it is seriously worth it. Not just BDSM; all sex.
It's so worth it.
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This post originally appeared at:
http://clarissethorn.com/blog/2011/03/11/storytime-sex-communication-case-studies/
http://clarissethorn.com/blog/2011/03/11/storytime-sex-communication-case-studies/
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FEMINISM:
[theory] Towards My Personal Sex-Positive Feminist 101
I wrote this in 2011, when I realized that I couldn't find a good Sex-Positive Feminist 101 anywhere on the Internet. The original version contains a lot more links, including an evolving set of relevant links at the end.
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018479
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